


I Wanna Be Yours

by archangelgaybriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2753882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archangelgaybriel/pseuds/archangelgaybriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean was his friend, his best friend, and he couldn't- there was just simply no way that Dean could ever reciprocate the giant crush Cas had been silently hoarding for him since forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wanna Be Yours

**Author's Note:**

> For the lovely [jolicas](http://jolicas.tumblr.com) <3 as part of my [fic giveaway](http://theprofoundbond.co.vu/post/104701227041/so-i-hit-1k-slightly-over-a-week-ago-and-i-havent) on tumblr

An arm casually slinks around Cas' shoulder as he's piling books into his locker, and he doesn't have to put a name to the voice because there would only be one person in the entire world who was allowed to do that to him.  
  
"Hey Cas," Dean chirps breezily.  
  
"Hi," Cas smiles in response, genuine and bright, his gaze flitting over to Dean. He's leaning on the locker beside him, posture slack as he watches Cas unload his books with familiar ease. After a few moments of silence, Dean scratches his head and speaks, his voice brimming with uncertainty. "Hey Cas, um, are you busy today?"  
  
"No," Cas replies, tilting his head and furrowing his eyebrows. "Why are you asking?" He pauses, his frown deepening. "I thought you have a date with Lisa today."  
  
If anything, Dean looks infinitely uncomfortable, as if there's something he wants to say but can't. He drops the hand on his neck and gives a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. Cas sighs, closing the locker door with a click and turns to face him, folding his arms. Really, after 18 years of friendship and knowing each other since they were in diapers, Dean should know better than to try to lie to him.  
  
"Spit it out, Winchester," he snaps.  
  
Dean lifts up his hands in mock surrender, still sporting a stupid smirk. Cas isn't swayed, though; he knows something's up and it must be pretty bad if Dean isn't sharing it with him because Dean shares _everything_ with him, even down to the littlest details like his first kiss in third grade with Cassie, to him considering joining football, to what he had for lunch on the weekend and his favourite flavour of pie: good ol' apple.  
  
"Fine," Dean grumbles, knowing that there was no way of worming out of this. He looks reluctant as he mutters, "Me and Lisa broke up yesterday."  
  
Wait, what? Cas freezes up. Weren't they happy? They were basically the envied golden couple of the school, and everyone knew it. "Dean-"  
  
"And we haven't hung out in a long time, and so I thought why not today?" Dean hastily rushes out, and there's a faint yet steady blush rising up his cheeks. He ducks his head, kicking at an invisible pebble with his shoe.  
  
Strangely enough, Dean doesn't seem too upset about the whole situation. Or maybe Cas' just hallucinating.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Dean breathes out a small laugh, biting his bottom lip. "Honestly? It wasn't working out. She knew it, I knew it. It was pretty painless, you could say."  
  
Cas' speechless now - nope, he completely wasn't expecting that answer. Truth be told, he was anticipating more of a a "oh we're just taking a break, we'll go back to being completely lovey-dovey in a couple days, don't worry", coupled with little more glumness, perhaps even a few tear-sheds maybe?  
  
"Oh," Cas says cleverly.  
  
"Yeah," Dean mumbles. He hesitates a little, before blurting out, "She said that there was someone else I liked, that's why it didn't work out."  
  
"What?" Cas crinkles his nose in confusion, not quite believing what he's hearing - maybe he heard wrong, Dean has a crush? It's meant to be a rhetorical question; he just wants some time to roll the idea of Dean Winchester, the most desirable person in face of the entire planet, has a _crush_ on someone. Dean repeats it again, incredibly slowly this time, cringing the whole time as if saying those fifteen words was such a painful chore.  
  
A spike of jealously shoots up Cas' spine, and he suppresses it shamefully. Dean was his friend, his best friend, and he couldn't- there was just simply no way that Dean could ever reciprocate the giant crush Cas had been silently hoarding for him since forever. Besides, Dean was about as straight as the Eiffel Tower; he only ever dated girls.  
  
He can't be jealous. He has to be happy for Dean. He has to be supportive.  
  
"Oh?" Cas says, swallowing down his disappointment. He finds it incredibly hard to hold Dean's gaze, but he somehow forces himself to do so. "Well, do you have a crush?"  
  
Dean blushes harder in response, and  Cas interprets the silence as a yes. Bitterness seeps into his tone as he speaks again - he prays Dean doesn't sense it. "Who is the lucky girl?"  
  
Dean chuckles weakly, scratching the back of his neck again. He's blushing like there's no tomorrow, and Cas swears that he's redder than the unripe tomatoes they serve in the cafeteria. "Secret," he mumbles, and Cas just rolls his eyes in exasperation.  
  
"You know," Cas says thickly, gaze sliding to the metal frame of his locker. "You should go for it. You are...desirable, after all."  
  
Dean chokes, spluttering. Cas snickers because really, as if it wasn't so obvious enough already.  
  
"Yeah well, it's not that simple." Dean looks nervous, which is impossible because Dean Winchester is cocky and confident and doesn't do nerves. "I don't know if h-she likes me back."  
  
Cas snickers again, and Dean's features morph from one of worry to mock anger.  
  
"Hey," Dean chides, - it doesn't work though, and Cas snorts at his frail attempt to sound angry. "Don't give me that face. You like someone too, don't you? You haven't dated in years. I'm starting to worry you'll die a virgin. Who's it?"  
  
Dean's smile is teasing, but he can sense the uncertainty swimming underneath it. Cas smiles weakly and sucks in a breath, only one word popping into his mind:  
  
You.  
  
The single syllable rests on the tip of his tongue, threatening to slip out any second. Oh, how easy would it be for him to confess right now and kiss Dean, but it might mean collapsing their entire relationship, and no matter how tempting and soft Dean's lips looks, no matter how much Cas wanted to be his, he couldn't risk losing him.  
  
Not _ever_.  
  
He'd rather keep silent than be faced with the threat of losing Dean forever. As such, Dean can never know.  
  
"I'm not interested in anyone, Dean."  
  
"Oh yeah?" Dean challenges, playfulness dancing in his pupils. "How about Meg Masters? She's sure as hell into you, and she's hot."  
  
"Meg's attractive," Cas concedes, and Dean's smile turns bitter for a split second. It was almost like he was...jealous. There's a fluttering hope blooming in his chest, like butterflies, which Cas stomps on hastily. Death via trampling. "But like I said, not interested."  
  
Dean smiles and lets out a laugh, and he looks relieved, almost as if he's been holding his breath. "Fine then."  
  
He shoves his hands into his pocket, and smiles at Cas, wide and toothy. Cas would give anything to see him stay this happy. "So, movie at my house?"  
  
"Sure," Cas shrugs, and apparently it's that simple because Dean's smile grows even wider. "What are we watching? Don't tell me it's _Slaughterhouse Five_ again."  
  
Dean pouts exaggeratedly, slinging his arm across Cas' shoulder which pushes their bodies closer as they walk out of the school. "Hey, don't diss the classics."  
  
"Well, I find it hard to appreciate 'the classics' after seeing the same thing twenty times in a row."  
  
"Shut up Cas, or you're sitting in the backseat."  
  
"Well then," Cas sighs in mock resignation and begins to walk away.

"Hey, hey!" Dean yelps, scrambling towards Cas and in a second there are warm fingers enclosing around Cas' wrist, pulling him closer. Cas smirks, and tries to ignore how close their bodies are; he's practically pressed up against Dean. Dean doesn't notice though; if he does then he doesn't make a move to step back, and Cas feels guilty for relishing in the warmth of their proximity - in Dean's ignorance - and shifts back, to a socially acceptable, "this is purely a platonic relationship" distance. Dean's smile wavers.  
  
"Fine Novak, have it your way. We'll watch something else," Dean mourns, and Cas fist pumps the air in triumph. But then again, he may or may not be completely head over heels for his best friend, and so he blames his next course of action on that.  
  
"Wait," Cas huffs just before they reach the Impala, and Dean looks at him quizzically. "We can still watch _Slaughterhouse Five_."  
  
Dean's eyes light up immediately - his lightning speed is comical, and Cas can't help the smile that spreads across his face. "Wait! I'm not done."  
  
"What?" Dean asks excitedly, bouncing on his toes.  
  
"If I fall asleep halfway, you can't yell at me afterwards for 'disrespecting a classic'." He pauses. "Also, I get the popcorn bowl and pillows."  
  
"Aw," Dean chuckles, sidling up against Cas, and Cas nearly falls down at the sudden closeness. "It's okay, darling, you're always welcome to sleep on my shoulder. It's nicer than pillows, I can guarantee."  
  
Cas snorts half-heartedly, and doesn't comment how close the joke - it's a joke, for gods sake, it’s not like Dean would actually allow him to do that - hits home. Instead, he shoves Dean away in a same playful banter and takes long strides to the car, refusing to acknowledge the ache in his chest.  
  
-  
  
"Take the copper II- that's not it, no not that one either- never mind."  
  
Meg smirks, mouthing "you do it", careful to brush past Cas as she slips by - even though there's about a metre of space between him and the table behind. She props her elbows on the table, her head cradled in her hands as she watches Cas move around with steady concentration.  
  
"So," she trails off, and Cas groans.  
  
"I'm heating chemicals over a fire, Meg, now's not exactly the prime time for a chit-chat. And wear your goggles."  
  
"Always such a flirt, Clarence," Meg purrs, sliding on the eyewear anyway. "Whoever you're in love with is pretty lucky."  
  
Cas stumbles.  
  
"I'm not," his voice is hoarse, and he shoots a haste side-eyed glance at her. No, she can't possibly know, can she? He clears his throat hastily. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
Meg merely rolls her eyes, threading her fingers together and stretching her arms above her head. "Cut the crap Clarence, you might as well be doodling hearts on the whiteboard surrounding the initials 'D' and 'W'-"  
  
"Shut up!" He hisses harshly, turning off the bunsen burner. His face is burning- no, she can't possibly know; besides, he'd never told anyone before, but the sickly smirk of Meg's suggests otherwise.  
  
"It's okay," she drawls, straightening herself up, and a shiver crawls down Cas' spine. "I won't tell. Besides, he's pretty gay for you too."  
  
"Shut up!" He snarls again - at this rate he'd might as well be a broken tape recorder stuck on repeat. To his utter dismay, Meg only cackles harder, which fuels the flush of his cheeks. "Whatever you say, Clarence. You know I don't twist my words."  
  
Cas chooses to blatantly ignore her and turns on the fire again, watching the flame dance before his eyes. He holds the substance over it, watching as the flame turns a brilliant green - but it doesn't quite match up to the gorgeousness of Dean's eyes.  
  
-  
  
Winter break comes, and on the days leading up to Christmas Cas finds himself tangled up on the sofa in the Winchester residence, marathon watching _Home Alone_ with Dean, Gabriel, and Sam.  
  
Halfway through the third movie they encounter somewhat of a major crisis: no more popcorn, and Cas whines and whines and jabs Dean's leg to go get more until he relents. Across the couch, Sam looks amused, and Cas is too occupied trying to push Dean's fat lazy ass off the couch with his feet to pay attention to Gabriel leaning towards Sam and whispering in his ear.  
  
"I'll go get it," Gabriel announces, jumping off the couch, and Cas frowns because Gabriel never does anything for anyone unless 1) it benefits him 2) he gets candy. Dean meanwhile mutters a very audible "thank god" under his breath, in which Cas snickers.  
  
"I'll go too," Sam adds, which only contributes to the fishiness of the whole situation - oh well, never mind: popcorn is top priority and surpasses whatever dumb, childish tricks they have up their sleeve. Dean turns his torso to yell at their retreating figures "don't go eating the whole bowl!" and Cas casually comments about how that's pretty much the most exercise Dean'd done all week, and in response Dean puffs out his chest indignantly and grabs the uneaten Twinkie from his hand to shove in his mouth which dude, not cool.  
  
The only acceptable and logical response would - of course - to be to launch himself onto Dean and shove his hand into his candy bowl.  
  
"Hey!" Dean cries out, smacking Cas' hand which is gleefully clutching a bunch of stolen goods. There's the telltale sign of stomping feet coming from the direction of the kitchen, and Cas and Dean simultaneously turn around expecting a bowl of popcorn but instead...  
  
A plant, attached to a string, is dangled right in front of their faces, the culprit is a sniggling Gabriel, with Sam behind popping popcorn into his mouth. They both look smug, too smug for any of their own good, and Cas opens his mouth to ask what in the world they're doing when Dean chokes out, "Is...is that a mistletoe?"  
  
What? Why would they dangle a mistletoe in front of their faces? And why did Dean look like he'd rather the ground swallow him than exist in this very moment?  
  
Oh wait,  _mistletoe_.  
  
His heart is pounding rapidly and he can feel his palms starting to sweat. Across him, Dean is twitching, and he's eyeing Cas nervously; Cas refuses to look at him, too afraid he might see or hear what he doesn't ever want to.  
  
He loves his brother, he really does but this was pushing the boundaries - this was risking the best thing to ever happen to him, in the name of the joke. His tone is laced with disapproval and pain - shit, Dean looks so uneasy - as he chides, "Gabriel..."  
  
That's about the furthest he gets because now there's a pair of lips brushing against his own, soft and uncertain. Still, Cas gasps - against Dean's lips.  
  
Dean's kissing him. Dean's kissing him. _Dean's kissing him_.  
  
It’s the faintest of touches, but it feels like there are fireworks going off behind his eyelids and his heart is threatening to burst through his ribcage, and he fists his pants with his white-knuckled hands. Unfortunately it lasts for a fraction of a second before Dean is pulling back, and Cas stares straight into him - Dean's eyes are scared and wary and oh- since when had his hands gone to the sides of Cas' head? They are warm and sweaty, Cas notes, and the chill that hits him when those hands slide off is icy and unwelcoming.  
  
"I didn't know- I didn't..." It's getting hard to form sentences now. Dean looks so afraid, and all Cas wants to do is kiss that look off his face and tell him that this was more than okay, but he can’t muster up enough sense to speak articulately - the incredulousness of this whole (frankly, surreal) situation has dried up all his functioning thoughts.  
  
"I'm sorry," Dean mumbles, and he's moving back stiffly. Cas is still frozen, unable to process anything. "I shouldn't have, I'm sorry."

There’s a niggling feeling at the back of his mind, that Dean was playing - this was all just for the sake of a mere (to think of it, stupid) christmas tradition, that he wasn’t actually serious; he didn’t mean to kiss Cas because he wanted to, but because he had to. Because that’s the letter of the law.  
  
Sam stops crunching on the popcorn. The air is stifling and heavy with tension.  
  
"I thought I wasn't allowed," Cas finally says.

Dean’s head snaps towards him so fast he nearly gets a whiplash. "Cas," he murmurs, eyes wide and then there are fingers threading with his, holding them firmly. Dean's smiling now, a mixture of relief and realization and ecstasy. "Cas."  
  
The next thing he knows, Dean's leaning forward, smashing their lips together and this time Cas responds hungrily, taking advantage of their intertwined hands to pull Dean flush against him.  
  
"You're allowed," Dean mumbles messily against his lips, and Cas breathes out a laugh. "You're allowed. Jesus Cas, you're allowed."  
  
Their lips meet again, then there's a chorus of "eww's" and "gross" coming from behind them, and someone shouts "cover your eyes!" and then there's a pillow in their faces which breaks the kiss.  
  
"Enough with the sappiness!" Gabriel snaps, and Cas pulls back - shit, he forgot they have an audience. Dean doesn't seem to mind though, sporting a shit-eating grin, and from the corner of his eye Sam scrunches up his nose and reluctantly hands a smug Gabriel a ten dollar note.  
  
Cas chuckles and leans into the warmth of Dean's hands cradling both sides of his face, and Dean kisses him again and again and again just to spite their brothers and it tastes sweetly of requited love and Twinkies.  


 

  
  
Extra:  
  
Arms encircle around his waist from behind, and there's a chin resting against his shoulder, nuzzling into the warmth of his neck. "Hi babe."  
  
"Hi," Cas murmurs, and Dean kisses the corner of his mouth softly. He pulls out the earbuds from his ear - Dean notices it and grabs it, slotting it in his ear.  
  
"What song is this?" Dean asks after a while, to which Cas replies, "I Wanna Be Yours."  
  
"You are," Dean mumbles, leaning his forehead against Cas', and Cas chuckles and shoves his shoulder lightly. "It's the name of the song, stupid head."  
  
"Well, at least I’m _your_ stupid head,” Dean murmurs. Cas buries his face against Dean's neck, hoping to hide his blush, and breathes in his familiar cologne. "Do you like the song?"  
  
Dean presses his lips against the top of Cas' head, and hums in affirmation. "Not my cup of tea but I'll make an exception." There's a brief pause before he quickly adds, "Just don't tell Sam I said that."  
  
-  
  
Dean hums the tune of the song under his breath over the next few weeks subconsciously - when they sit side by side in the cafeteria, when they spend their nights in the backseat of the Impala, when they're on the sofa being lazy slobs. Cas doesn't mention it, just kisses Dean harder.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are very much welcomed <33
> 
> You can still join my giveaway [here](http://theprofoundbond.co.vu/post/104701227041/so-i-hit-1k-slightly-over-a-week-ago-and-i-havent)!


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